This is Special Agent Gracie with a report.  I located an enemy agent, code-named "Yo-Yo" in MI7 headquarters.  I engaged this enemy and was in the middle of a special Gracie-fu tactic, when I realized that another MI7 agent was laughing at me!!!  The in-cat-manity! 

After recovering from this absurdity, I tracked down Yo-Yo and attempted to take him out.   But in the middle of my graceful and stealthy tactics, "Agent" Ted, decided to "assist" me in the attack!  He sounded like an elephant, all chances of stealthily eliminating Yo-Yo were no longer an option. 

I almost had him, despite the "help" from Ted, when the bumbling fool code-named "Dog" decided to "help", too!  Dog came running over, barking!  In our attempt to stop the Dog, Yo-Yo escaped!

I will remain on the look out for Yo-Yo and update you with any further happenings.

~Agent Gracie

This is secret agent 001.  Ted Bond is in the middle of a top secret, dangerous mission, but Bond has taken some time out of the mission to send an update on the happenings.  Ted Bond has been given the task of finding and destroying all of the enemy's resources, code named "Dog food."  This task has been very trying upon 001, as there are about 10 pounds of the stuff located in the code named "Kitchen."  Ted Bond has been eating nonstop for days, but never seems to be making any progress!!!  In fact, Bond has a fear that the enemy is filling the dish from a secret supply!

Ted Bond is not willing to be defeated, Ted Bond will continue to eat until all of the "Dog food" is gone!  There have been many attempts to stop 001, the enemy's resistance has been very strong, but Bond will prevail!  There have even been some mislead agents who have been trying to stop Bond from eating all of the "Dog food."  Some have claimed that it is not good for Ted or that Ted's stomach is growing!  Absurd!!!!  Bond has been given a mission and Bond will complete that mission or die trying!!!!!  (Well, maybe not die...)

Ted Bond does have one concern, there are rumors of Die-ts afoot! 

001 signing off.

This is secret agent Gracie.  I have been doing surveillance work and discovered that there is a very dangerous "Lexmark" in the vicinity of MI7 headquarters.  This device intercepts and decodes our secret communications and prints it out for easy access.  There is this strange cartridge thing that slides back and forth and back and forth inside.  I determined that I could not wait for clearance from headquarters, but I must put my license to kill spiders, insects, and other dangers to MI7 to use.  This was definitely a danger.  After a faint struggle on its part, I sucessfully killed it!!!  Now there is only an error message that comes up and says it cannot "print."  Agent Gracie strikes again!

Excuse me, 001 is using lots of puns again and I have to go slap him.