Thursday, 31 May 2007
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From Russia, without Food
Memo from 001 to N
001 speaking. 001 has just returned from a dangerous assignment in Russia. Ted Bond was stranded when 001's team deserted 001 without warning. 001 was deserted without food or water in the waistland of northern Russia, with an incomplete mission. 001 never panicked or feared that Bond would starve to death. 001's shrinking waistline gave 001 only concern for a moment. Bond, Ted Bond focused completely on the objective of gathering intelligence, after 001 found a way to prevent starvation.
001 discovered, after days of without food, a large enemy food cache. 001 knew better than to leave such a large amount of food the furtherance of the enemy. Despite the great sacrifice, 001 ate all of the food. After Bond had been fortified with this small amount of food, 001 continued the long and dangerous mission.
001 was able to gather the necessary intelligence and has discovered, much the relief of MI7 and all the agents, that they are not making fake sushi in Russia! 001 Resolved another fishy situation.
But Bond's mission was not finished, Bond still had to escape the clutches of Russia. 001 was in a weakened state, after weeks without food, before discovering the cache of food. 001 had lost several ounces!!!! 001 never panicked and was able to utilize all the survival tactics, including ripping open cat food bags!!!!!001's daring escape was only culminated by his capturing a secret Russian prototype jet! Bond's innate abilities allowed him not only to capture, but also fly this plane without any training! Supersonic achievement!
This is 001 signing off and headed to find some chocolate and a milkshake.
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